This may become a series of blogs on this topic as I think that there are many emotional barriers we have to estate planning. One of the common responses I hear when I meet people is “I know I need to do a plan but I just get so anxious when I think about it that I don’t.” Yes, anxiety comes up a lot for people considering these issues. It is natural for such important issues to stir up a lot of feelings. I tell people to just take small steps. A good estate planning agent understands that this is difficult work and will help guide you through it. It is not unusual for my clients to cry, to feel overwhelmed or to discover that they have significant differences of opinion about what to do. I listen to my clients and offer compassion and sensitivity. Then when the estate planning process is done, my clients feel peace and as if a big burden has been lifted off their shoulders. Psychologists say that we need to deal with our fears and stresses head on. I think that by embracing our mortality, we actually live with freedom and with less burden.
Another reaction to estate planning is “I don’t want to think about dying.” It is indeed very difficult to think about dying, but we have no control of when this will happen. What we do have control, however, is of taking care of you and your loved ones if you become disabled, giving what you have to whom you want, the way you want, and when you want. You also have control of saving every last tax dollar, professional fee and court cost legally possible.
My clients who are able to face these difficult issues are almost always motivated by love. Love is the driving force in their motivation to have a plan and this love overrides their fear and anxiety. Think about how much you love your friends, family, charities, or pets, and consider whether you love them enough to deal with the difficult things. Keep in mind what I say that “Estate planning is an act of love.”
What is your emotional barrier to estate planning and how can you overcome it?