We think that leaving a legacy is only for the wealthy or the old. We think that it’s about leaving a whole bunch of money behind. But it’s about much more than that. Leaving a legacy is also about leaving your values and character – your emotional assets – with the future generation. Your footprints have made a difference in this world and you will leave a big hole when you are gone. Even though my mother did not have an estate plan, what I hold dearest in my heart is my mother’s notes that she wrote to me because it is proof that she loved me. She continues to live through me – this is her legacy. Whether you are old, young, rich or poor, you have a legacy. It does not matter whether you are married or have children. You have made a difference in your life and it is important that you continue your legacy after you pass away.
A recent occurrence brought this home to me. My friend’s mother-in-law recently passed away. Her passing was not unexpected, as she was 85 and had been ill for the last year and half. Still, her death left a big hole in the family and has triggered a new wave of sadness and grieving. We may think we are prepared, but the emotional realities of death often catch us off guard.
However, my friend’s mother-in-law had been kind enough to give a great deal of thought to this stage of her life. She had moved into a senior community and begun the paring down process years earlier – giving away things she no longer could use to each of her five children. Her estate was in order with an up-to-date will. When her husband was still alive they had purchased a mausoleum crypt, so burial plans were easily put in place. Most significantly, she had gone to the trouble to list the hymns and scriptures she wanted included in her funeral service. Far from being morbid, the family took great comfort in knowing they were singing her favorite hymns as they paid tribute to her. And finally, she had directed her estate to pay for a family dinner after the services, where all the siblings, their spouses, grandchildren and other family members could gather and share their memories.
Her kids did not have the worry of wondering what she would have wanted. They followed her wishes and they are at peace knowing that they honored her. She left a legacy for them. She left property to them, but more importantly, a legacy of love, values, character and strength.
It’s difficult to think about dying, but think about how hard it is for the living after you pass away. Think of estate planning as leaving a legacy that you leave with your loved ones. Your life is important to whom you leave behind – your family, your friends, your pets, your charities.